It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
