By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
