Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize