I understand Curling. That high.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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