just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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