Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
