Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need a beard to bite.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
