We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
