He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I AM VODKA MAN
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
