My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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