Will you blow on my dice?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
