I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
bring money and cleavage
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
