listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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