I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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