i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize