You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
