if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
