That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
