thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Will exercising make me less horny?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
