He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
