yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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