No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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