Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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