1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
