My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
