Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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