what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
