the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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