I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
