just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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