i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize