So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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