I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
