she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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