All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
