I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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