the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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