I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize