Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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