maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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