I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
