I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
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