An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
