Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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