with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
