He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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