I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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