I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
