I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize