That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize