Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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