the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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