We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
