do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
