I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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