I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
