But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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